this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
