she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
