Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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