you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
