I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
