no, he came in my armpit
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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