do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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