Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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