her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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