hotel room ftw
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
