Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
