stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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