Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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