The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
