My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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