I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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