I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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