Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
