i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize