A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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