he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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