Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
