She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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