Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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