onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
