i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"it" just moved
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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