puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize