You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
