I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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