god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
