They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
