how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
