...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
