So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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