my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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