Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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