Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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