you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
