And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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