I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
