This girl is more easily done than said...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize