I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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