the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
