This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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