be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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