so explain again why im purple
no
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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