ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
