Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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