I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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