I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
