no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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