After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
please don't ironically join a cult
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