Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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