His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
