Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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