Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
