All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
