A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize