We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Loading more great texts...