She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
