I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
